Journey => Guest Post: The Journey of Caregiving

Kalispell
MT
During a 1980s, Lois Wagner was my boss
and co-worker during Community of Hope Health Services, a tiny inner-city hospital that
she had founded.  In 1990, she assimilated us
at Joseph’s
House
vital with as good as caring for without a country group with AIDS.  We have remained tighten friends even as she
moved to San Diego to turn a highbrow of nursing during Point Loma University
and afterwards late to Kalispell, MT where she has lived with as good as cared for her
mother who has Alzheimer’s.

MOVING FROM COMPANION TO CAREGIVER

I am a 72-year-old vital with as good as caring for my 95-year-old
mother. we am additionally a helper by contention as good as have outlayed many years caring for
and training about caring for people during a finish of life. As I’ve been reading
David’s blog whilst mother’s cognitive abilities diminish, we have turn more
reflective upon my journey.

I have right divided been with my mother for 6 years as
companion/caregiver.   We have solemnly changed from being primarily
companions to my being her caregiver.  However, a caregiving has to be
done with a small finesse.  It indeed is similar to a dance.  Sometimes we need
to pierce in tighten as good as assistance her a lot as good as infrequently we need to behind off as good as let
her do things herself.  Which equates to infrequently it seems similar to I’m stepping
on her toes since we changed in as good closely as good as alternative times we lift divided as good as she
almost falls–either literally or figuratively.  The passing from a single to another from
companion to caregiver is not regularly transparent or consistent.  

Not asking questions
The thought of not asking questions as referred to in Contented
Dementia
has been a unequivocally beneficial a single for me.  I have found that
mom gets unequivocally concerned if she is put upon a mark with a subject even about what
to eat.  But if we troubadour out loud, for
example, “I’m meditative about possibly soup or salad today; can’t utterly decide; well,
maybe we’ll have soup,” she will mostly possibly determine or contend she’d rsther than have
the salad.  It’s been unequivocally kind of fun to see if we can revoke a number
of questions to as integrate of as probable as a equates to of augmenting her clarity of
well-being as good as dwindling times of “ill-being.”
Learning to wait for for as good as be late
I am guidance to wait for for as good as to be late.  No matter
how many time we plan, it seems which there have been regularly final notation needs that
arise as good as it does not work to try to pour out or hurry. In a large intrigue of things
it’s not so critical to regularly be upon time.   
Reducing stress
If we get as good bustling or stressed, mother reflects which in
both cognitive as good as earthy symptoms.  She’s a sign of my highlight level.
 
Routine as good as ritual
We have instituted a integrate of every day routines that
bookend a days.  In a sunrise we review out of a small imagining book
and she reads analogous Bible scriptures.  Her Sunday School training
is still there as good as she can even find those problematic books in a Bible as good as seems
quite gratified with herself when she does.  Often she will review a scripture
that is a small some-more epitome as good as she will giggle as good as contend “Whatever which means,” and
we will giggle as good as pierce on.   In a dusk we was anticipating it formidable to
get her to go to bed.  She would contend she was starting to bed though would just
sit there.  So, we mount in front of her as good as put out my hands as good as say, “Let
me assistance we get to a bed.”  She looks
up during me with a grin as good as we travel down a gymnasium palm in hand.  I put
lotion upon her feet as good as lift a covers up as good as we demeanour any alternative in a eyes
and say, “I adore you.  Sleep well.
 See we in a morning.”  I put upon her song as good as leave her to sleep,
which she does well.  
I go on to sense about change, acceptance,
expectations, frustration, flexibility, overpower though many of all about adore as
we have this tour together.
Lois Wagner


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